Quotes after I did my conditioner treatment so it was still wet & curly:
"Are you going to leave it like that? I don't really dig the jheri curl look." (husband)
"Oh my gosh, it's so puffy!" (stepdaughter)
"Woah Mom, you have a fro like Will Smith!" (oldest son {and when the heck did Will Smith ever have a fro??})
So I didn't exactly get a rave review from the family, but I'm alright with that. I knew my husband wouldn't love it b/c every woman in his family has straight hair, but if he doesn't like it, that's his problem. Now when it comes to my hair, I'm going to work with what God gave me without permanently chemically altering it. I'm done doing things to my hair just to conform to what everyone else wants. Whoever doesn't like "Curly" Natalie will just have to get used to it because she's here to stay. :-)
Congrats! You go girl! You know, tho, it's not just a matter of being curly or nappy curly just to make a natural statement. In other words, don't hate on the straight! :)
ReplyDeleteI've been semi-natural for almost a year now & the straight look happens to be what I prefer (not to make a statement either way), but the bottom line is I know I'm being good to my hair these days. When I say "semi" I mean I don't heavily & regularly relax my hair anymore. When I moved to the burbs & needed a new hairdresser, I found this guy (he's Arab, btw, and most of his clients are Black women) who told me I don't really need relaxers, just deep conditioning. So, Nov, it'll be one year that I've been going to him and he keeps my hair straight by just washing, blowdrying, flat ironing and deep conditioning every two or so visits. Of course, you may consider the blowdryer and curling iron in a sense not being part of the natural scene, but I say as long as it's free of chemicals, it's staying healthy.
Now, I'm only "semi" because I must admit that during this past year, I did have him relax my hair twice, because it was just, I guess, engrained in my mind that when it's starting to look that bad I gotta do that. But then, I'm not on a quest to go el naturale like you, so there wasn't a second thought to NOT perm it. The real deal is that only two relaxers in a year is definitely a record for me and a blessing to my hair! I NEVER would've thought that possible with my long, thick and terribly unmanageable hair!
The point I'm trying to make is that for too long, the Black hair product makers & hair dressers have "duped" us into thinking we NEED relaxers. That is such a lie and the results of it show on our damaged hair! I still regret having started perming Brit's hair at such an early age - elementary school (ugh), but it was so unmanageable & that was all I knew to do. What should've happened was regular trips to the professional folks for deep conditioning to her hair.
Anyway, I wanted to encourage you to keep doing what you're doing to make your hair grow strong & to give yourself peace of mind.
HOWEVER, I must say an additional thing, and I’ll do it in a separate blog, since I’m reaching the maximum words allowed. Stay tuned…
Oops, in that previous blog, I forget to tell you who I am (lol). This is your Aunt Terri.
ReplyDeleteBelow is the remainder of my comments (tried sending it as one blog and it told me I exceeded maximum characters allowed. Imagine that - haha!)...
Do not forget the fact that Charles' opinions -about your hair or about the weather -should be important to you! So, in your quest for the natural look, don't be too hard on him because of his comments - take them to heart. If he made the comment, it's for a reason. Instead of berating him, start a sensible dialogue about it to see if you can get him to see your point of view (especially since you say you know the root of his comment). After talking about it, his point of view just may have a different root than you think. Take it from one who knows, it's so much easier to try and compromise over the dinner table, than over the attorney's mediation table. It starts with the little things...
Again, what's important to your spouse SHOULD BE important to you - period. And do not make the same mistake that so many women do - who are now divorced, mind you - & abandon the things about you that attracted your husband to you in the first place. Why, why, why, do so many newly married people - men & women alike - let themselves go once that wedding ring is on?? And the first time the man or woman strays outside the marriage, the scorned spouse wants to point the finger everywhere but on themselves. I've personally never had to deal with infidelity in the marriage (had my share of too many other problems that led to divorce. lol!), but once you live long enough & talk to enough people who have gone thru it, it all becomes clear about the infidelity thing. So, I say that to say, for the sake of you looking good for your husband, for your children, for your employer, heck, for society in general, don't forsake going to the hair salon - at least once in a while. Getting a fabulous short & styled cut with deep conditioning - by the professionals who know how to do it better than we can ever do it in our own homes - will go a long way in really making a bold & lasting statement about your stance for the natural look.
The best way to successfully encourage your daughter & stepdaughter (& other women whom you have the opportunity to influence) to embrace the natural way as the right way, is to look fantastic yourself! Then they'll give thumbs up to the whole notion & may want to go that way as well.
Well, that's my two cents worth!
Love, Aunt Terri
And to those comments I say "Amen"!
ReplyDeleteThanks Aunt Terri for ALL of your comments. LOL I definitely wanted to keep my options open as far as the hair goes b/c I love wearing my hair straight sometimes. So many people have been telling me to get dreads if I go natural, but that's too permanent for me. I definitely want to be able to swing my hair sometimes (once it grows a little more), but still go back to curly.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how much more information is out there now about caring for curly/nappy hair and how undereducated most people are about it. If you do it right and have the right products, it's really not any harder to blowdry and flatiron/curl natural hair than it is to do relaxed hair. It seems to me the relaxer game is indeed an elaborate scheme designed to fool us into thinking we have to permanently alter our hair in order to be accepted into society. Look at how much relaxers cost at salons nowadays. The chemicals can't be that much better - still the same old sodium hydroxide (aka "no-lye" lye).
So, thank you for the encouragement I definitely appreciate it and I do still respect the straight point of view. :-) (now onto the next comment LOL)
As far as Charles is concerned, I am trying to be fair to him b/c I do realize he likes what he likes. That's one of the main reasons I've been planning to let my curls grow long instead of keeping my hair the way it is now (even though I LOVE it). The surprising thing is that even though he made the comment about the "Jheri curl look," he actually said he likes my "Jill Scott look" (which is more of a 'fro) better! I was so shocked! The best part about it is the Jill Scott look is easier to maintain b/c in between washes, I can either leave it alone, or just do a quick styling with my hands & some water + conditioner as opposed to taking the time to de-tangle every day.
ReplyDeleteSo, don't worry, I am listening to him and not just disregarding his opinions b/c I don't agree. :-)